People-pleasers put the desires of others before themselves.   They will go out of their way to make sure that everyone else is fine even at the expense of their own well-being.  They will volunteer for things even when they know they don’t have the time or energy.  They will take on extra responsibilities, go the extra mile and may even disregard their morals to please others.  They spend so much of their time worrying about others that they end up tired and unfulfilled.

This kind of behavior stems from the desire to be accepted.  It creates a false belief that their personal worth/value is determined by how much they think others value them.  A people-pleaser will go out of their way to show how funny, smart and useful they are JUST to feel accepted.  They will do almost anything to avoid being rejected.

This way of thinking can start early in life. If a child has demanding parents or parents that put unreasonable expectations on their kid, the child can develop the wrong idea about how the world works. They can think that unless they are perfect, the world will not accept them.   A child can have a teacher who is very hard on them or a coach who rides them too hard or maybe an overbearing social circle.  It can also start in the adult years-maybe a significant other /spouse or an employer.  Whatever the cause, there is a solution.

The first mistake people-pleasers make is looking for validation from the world.  No matter how much the world loves or hates you, your value can only be determined by the one who made you.   You can give up your time, money, family, health, etc., to please others and it still won’t fill you up.  You won’t feel fulfilled or at rest, because only God can fill that void in your heart.

People-pleasers get so used to putting others before them that oftentimes the other people lose respect for them.  They end up becoming doormats for others.  Their feelings and needs are often overlooked and their value ends up being based solely on their performance and willingness to perform and not their character and moral fiber. They are often taken for granted and used.

This is not the ideal situation for a child of the Living God. And many pleasers are afraid of God because they think He (being perfect) will have such high demands they could never measure up.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

If you are a people pleaser you must know that you are loved with an everlasting love.  Your value has never changed with God and there is nothing you can do to make Him love you more, or less.  You have to learn how to let God love you for who you are and then trust in that love.  And never try to earn it.

If you are a parent, imagine your child thinking he/she had to do something in order for you to accept/love them.  You would feel terrible, wouldn’t you?  God is the same way.  He doesn’t want His children thinking they have to work for His love.  He wants them to run to Him and sit on His lap KNOWING that HE is there for them.

So, if you are run-down, unfulfilled and confused about what the future holds, you might ask yourself if you are a people=pleaser.  You may have to repent for putting the interests of man ahead of the interests of God.  You also may need to start taking time for yourself and learning to love yourself (faults and all) and relax for a while.  You have been so focused on making others happy that you might not even know what makes you happy.  You may need to discover yourself.  You may need to ask God to show you how He sees you and ask Him to help you forget about how you think others do.   He can take the burdens you have been carrying and lead you to streams of living water.  He wants to show you who you REALLY ARE.  You are wonderful and very precious.

We are made in God’s image.  He values us and loves us.  He only wants the best for us and never wants to see us carrying burdens we were never meant to carry.  Lay them down today and enter the freedom that God has for you.

Hebrews 4

Jeremiah 31:3

Ephesians 3:17-

Psalm 23

1 Thessalonians 2:4

Proverbs 29:25

Is there such a thing?  Can you really fall in love at first sight?

I think we first have to define what love is.  According to Merriam-Webster love is:

a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.

I used to believe in love at first sight but I don’t anymore.  But only because I learned what real love is.   The bible defines love this way:

^“4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

⁵It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

⁶It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

⁷Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].”

That comes from 1st Corinthians chapter 13.  Also known as the “love chapter.”

So learning what true love is, can it really happen at first sight?

I think an interest and affection can come at first sight, but love, love takes time.

I don’t march in front of businesses or get involved in “movements” to end something but I do abstain from buying/using products if something they do/have done is morally questionable in my eyes.  Like if a company ran an ad that was offensive to something I value.

When Red Bull ran the ad with Jesus walking on water I decided I would not drink Red Bull any longer.  This is a good thing I might add, these things are NOT healthy.   No, I was not offended, I just decided that since they are gonna poke fun at a certain demographic then they don’t deserve my business.

Just so you know, I don’t get offended.  I know who I am in Christ Jesus and who I am as a person, so hateful words meant to cause harm do not impact me.  I wish more Christians felt this way.  I don’t think its our job to be on the lookout for anything that might be “offensive”.  Christ said that in this world there would be tribulation but were to be of good cheer because He overcame the world (John 16:33).

But I do not like it when a company deliberately demeans Christians and does it so proudly.  It is not so much that the companies make fun of Christ/Christians, but that they completely take them for granted.  In the U.S. alone I think close to 90% of people profess to be Christians.  Now I know this is more like a political label than a set of ideals but there are still a lot of us.  And to blatantly seek to demean them is just silly.  It certainly isn’t nice and quite frankly, its bad business.

So, have you ever decided not to buy something or refrain from using a service because of moral conflict?

And have you ever written letters/emails to companies voicing your opinion about something such as an advertisement you thought was offensive?

Psalm 51

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David; when Nathan the prophet came to him after he had sinned with Bathsheba.

¹HAVE MERCY upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions.

²Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!

³For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.

⁴Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment.

⁵Behold, I was brought forth in [a state of] iniquity; my mother was sinful who conceived me [and I too am sinful].

⁶Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.

⁷Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean [ceremonially]; wash me, and I shall [in reality] be whiter than snow.

⁸Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice.

⁹Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.

¹⁰Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.

¹¹Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.

¹²Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.

¹³Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You.

¹⁴Deliver me from bloodguiltiness and death, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness (Your rightness and Your justice).

¹⁵O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

¹⁶For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering.

¹⁷My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

¹⁸Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

¹⁹Then will You delight in the sacrifices of righteousness, justice, and right, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering; then bullocks will be offered upon Your altar.

I really enjoy this scripture.  Hope it blesses you.

I have always liked this little reference list.

When in sorrow……………………….call John 14
When men fail you……………………call Psalm 27
When you have sinned…………………call Psalm 51
When you worry………………..call Matthew 6:19-34
When you are in danger……………….call Psalm 91
When God seems far away……………..call Psalm 139
When your faith needs stirring………call Hebrews 11
When you are lonely and fearful……….call Psalm 23
When you grow bitter and critical.call I Corinthians 13
When you feel down and out……. …call Romans 8:31
When you want peace and rest…..call Matthew 11:25-30
When the world seems bigger than God…..call Psalm 90
When you want Christian assurance…call Romans 8:1-30
When you leave home for labor or travel..call Psalm 121
When your prayers grow narrow or selfish.call Psalm 67
When you want courage for a task………call Joshua 1
When you think of investments and returns..call Mark 10
If you are depressed……….. ………call Psalm 27
If your pocketbook is empty……………call Psalm 37
If you are losing confidence in people….call I Corinthians 13
If people seem unkind…….. ………..call John 15
If discouraged about your work……….call Psalm 126
If self pride/greatness takes hold…….call Psalm 19
If you want to be fruitful…………..call John 15
For understanding of Christianity…call II Corinthians 5:15-19
For a great invention/opportunity…….call Isaiah 55
For how to get along with fellow men…..call Romans 12
For Paul’s secret to happiness..call Colossians 3:12-17

ALTERNATE NUMBERS:
For dealing with fear……………..call Psalm 34:7
For security……………………..call Psalm 121:3
For assurance………………………call Mark8:35
For reassurance…………………call Psalm 145:18

If you don’t get promoted?

If you don’t get healed?

If you don’t get blessed financially?

If you don’t see your loved one saved?

If you don’t get promoted?

If you don’t fall in love?

If your baby is sick?

If your church doesn’t experience revival?

If your new car gets totaled?

If you lose your hair?

If you are gossiped about?

If you are wrongfully persecuted?

If you have 3rd degree burns all over your body?

If you cannot walk?

If you lose your sight?

Would you still praise Him If you lost everything you have?

I believe the answer to this question is the reason we are not walking in the blessings we have prayed for.   I believe our happiness and praise is based on what we get from God.  It is conditional.  We thank Him and praise Him for the things we “believe” He will do but when they do not come (when we want) we become complainers.  So the level of love for Him is exposed when we do not get our way.  This needs to change.

Blessings come from Righteousness and flow TO righteousness.  When we begin to understand just how great God is and that we only get to heaven because of Him(Ephesians 2:8,9).  Then we will learn true praise and thanksgiving and then be blessed.

God is not trying to bless US, but Jesus IN us.

I pray we learn true thankfulness and reverence so that our praise worthy of His majesty.

-For further reading, look at the book of Job.  Job lost everything and in his pit he learned why he was there (last few chapters).

Blessings

But last night I went and watched the North Dakota Fighting Sioux play hockey against the Wisconsin Badgers and I decided to iron my jeans, that really didn’t need it.  I just wanted to look neat.  It reminded me of how I used to live.

So what are your thoughts on ironing jeans?  Only when necessary, never or somewhere between?

But in some ways women have it harder because they (some of them) have to juggle a career and manage the house and kids, if they have them.  Women have it harder in the work place too.  It is far more difficult for a woman to advance in her career than a man.  Women have to look good and it takes them longer to do that.  They have to deal with sleazy coworkers or bosses who sexually harass them.

I think that women often go unappreciated in many homes.  I am not married but if I were, I would come home from work and help with dinner, do the dishes with her and help with laundry.  Because I believe it is both our responsibilities and mostly because I would just want to be next to my wife.

I think the women who are married with children have it the hardest.   They end up putting their husbands and kids first and often let their personal dreams/aspirations fall by the wayside.

So without really making a decision on who I think has it harder, I would like to hear your thoughts on it.

Who has it harder, women or men?  Wonder if this will be a vote along gender lines.

I pray that this year will be a year of spiritual harvest for those who have planted seed in the form of sacrifice and dying to self and endless prayers with fasting, in hopes the Risen Lord brings revival to their community.  I pray that those who seek not, new houses and cars but pray for more bibles in their church and people to read them.  People to get healed of their ailments and to have peace in their hearts.  I pray that the people who lament for their neighborhood to be saved.  People who will not rest until they offer a sacrifice great enough for God to rend the heavens and touch the people.  I pray that the people who have sown seeds of the spirit will reap a harvest to help them be free of the flawed flesh.  So that their freedom will help those in chains.

Many blessings to you this new year.  I pray that our  harvest this year is one that brings us closer to the Lord and not this earth.  I pray that this year is the year of our breakthrough.  Because last year we sowed seeds of sacrifice and praise for who He is.  Praise be the Lord!

Happy 2012!

With Christmas quickly approaching, there are fewer and fewer days to buy presents for those on your list.  But how necessary are many of the gifts we give?  How many will be remembered in a few years or even in one?  Now, I enjoy getting nice gifts for people.  I like to see the faces of my family and friends when they open their packages and see what they got.  But I also know that no matter what I give, it is not something that was a legitimate need or even a want.  There are people out there with real needs and they don’t have the luxury of asking for wants.   Some people, mainly kids, have to ask for clothes, shoes or school items for Christmas because their parents/parent don’t have much money.

So instead of getting gifts for my family and friends this year, I am seriously considering getting things for the ones in need, in their names.  Whether it is through the Salvation Army’s Angel Tree, Operation Christmas Child or some other way, I urge you to also consider doing this.  I think it would not only be a huge blessing to those who receive the gifts, but also to those whose names they were given in.

What are some Christmas ideas you have (the above idea was not mine, I got it from my friend Curt in Colorado) to be a blessing to those who lack?

It doesn’t have to be a present that we give, sometimes our PRESENCE is so much more valuable.

Blessings, and Merry Christmas!